the littlest gesture..

... sets my heart aglow :D

Mr Married was around the neighbourhood and he called to tell me he is downstairs with my "favourite" rojak. not really my favourite actually :D just so happen whenever he do find me for lunch, i will be eating that :P

i was surprised. i mean usually he will come, call me and tell me he will be waiting for me for lunch. but today, since he is early and has an appointment elsewhere, he just went to the rojak stall to buy me rojak then only call me to ask me to go down and take it from him :D

it's a very sweet gesture. and i am having warm fuzzy feeling all over. dangerous. he is married afterall.

so i was eating the rojak in the pantry with the biggest smile on my face. :D it's the sweetest rojak ever :D the sour fruits? what sour? it's sweet! the savoury crackers? what savoury? it's sweet! the spicy sauce? what spicy? it's sweet! :D i m getting silly :D

and i was thinking, what if i didnt come to work today? what will he do with that packet of rojak? :D

another round of mental diarrhea

been a long time since i last cooked for more than 1 person :D it was a nice feeling seeing the other party enjoying the food :D yes, i can cook fairly well ok? :D

i m getting more and more domesticated. and that is bad. given the fact that the other party is... erm.... not really available. =.="

cant believe we've known each other for almost 10yrs already :D time flies.

is this what i want?

hmmmm......

on another note, my future lady boss started to give me assignments already. ya. she emailed me late night last night to source for hotels for the upcoming event. i am ok about it coz at least when i really start work, one part of the job will already be done :D i am still reading up on the products. tooooo wordy... toooooo wordy.... :P i foresee the hardest part is calling up ppl to participate the event. ppl who are super busy. aiyayayayaya...... what have i gotten myself into??

another source of worry is the acid attack. will be working in Bangsar and Bangsar is one of the place of attack. tiu. parking is also another issue.

but all these are minor concern. really. nothing beats getting outta this hell hole :D

MF is still an asshole. :D we exchanged emails the other day and he insulted me big time. which i lashed back at him. he reminded me how come i fell outta love with him.

he is like a fucking unstable time bomb. one moment he is so damn fucking sweet and nice and i got reminded of why i was so rakus about him and the next, he became so damn fucking obnoxious, i will to slap him a few times.

but i m seriously over him la. he still owes me money =.=" almost a year already.

Mr Unattainable is constantly in my mind and it sux. coz he is not attainable!!

why cant i get involve in a normal relationship?

Obelix is also kinda back in my life *blush* we are sort of planning a trip together. and yes, he is also unattainable. with kids.

see the bloody vicious cycle? why am i being like that?

i want to be domesticated leh. but why am i involved with ppl that i cant be domesticated with?

i wanna get married and have 2.5 kids :D*gasp* ya... me, married. kids. ya. how la? :(

i am actually not that strong. i always pretend to be happy coz no one likes a grouchy mean bitch.

i feel like i have a split personality. although i am happy happy sampat sampat outside, i m crying inside.

my private blog has turn so depressing that i cannot even bear to log in there anymore to rant.... coz everytime i see it, i wish to slit my wrists even more.

i cannot take the stalking business anymore. mr psycho stalker aka kelvin is really getting too much for me. the sad thing is, i dont know his full name nor his full address. so how to make a police report?

he came over last night as usual, knocking on the door. i was too drowsy from the med to layan him. so i dozed off, not before sms-ing him to fuck off and that i am sick, not free to layan him.

this morning when i woke up to go to work, my doorway is wet with urine and my slipper is soaking in piss. i m seriously fucking pissed off and tired. like wtf is wrong with this fella la??? it's been more than a year since we broke off! wtf does he want with me la? does he honestly fucking think that by doing all these stalking and crazy stunts i will go back together with him ah???

i guess it's time for me to look for a place to move :(

Very eventful...

...weekend.. :D

Friday

Met up with the karchengs for Baby Zen's (decided to name him that coz his Chinese name is so....Zen :P) full moon dinner at Spicy Crab, Kota Kemuning. The bloody crab damn fucking spicy until all our lips swollen =.=" and to think i m the queen of eating chilli!! anyway,left the office on the dot so that i can spend some quality time with my darling, Chanel :D she is sooooooo cute and i really love her to bits!! :D after dinner, rushed over to Green Box at Bukit Tinggi for karaoke session with the colleagues. dont really enjoy it. but it was ok la.

Saturday

Went Subway lunch with Minger at Subang Airport coz we have not utilize the Feb coupon yet :D after lunch, i decided i need my dosage of 'pick me up' and forced minger to teman me makan chocotop :D really really good pick me up :D went home with a lighter heart and mood :D

Got ready for Ronnie & Adeline wedding immediately as i sux at make up and i needed time to make up :P LM came over to pick me up at 5.30pm coz we expected to jam all the way to Flamingo Hotel. See see, we memang jam all the way, got over shot and went into KL city and then turn back to Ampang =.=" when we arrived, we were just on time =.="

as you all know, i m not a wedding person. i dont do weddings. but i enjoyed this wedding tremendously, maybe coz i met so many friends there. even found out a long lost irc friend was there (minger sms-ed me to inform me). Got to know one of the ex-colleague better and it was fun la - despite the horrendous karaoke sessions by those aunties and uncles which makes it harder for us to talk. My table consist of all the ex colleagues from itt so it was really really fun. :D food wise, erm... i only like the chicken dish :P took a lot of really silly pictures which were warned by a colleague who aspire to be the next CEO that i m not allowed to post it up anywhere... not even FB.... :P the night ended with a planned gathering end of March. Which i m soooooo looking forward to! :D

Sunday

Woke up feeling ravenous... i think i ate too much the previous night (my friend told me one, if i eat too full the previous nite and sleep, i will wake up more hungry one). Met Donny at SS14 to pick him up to go Klang for the yummy Pan mee. i think i saw Jon-Ifer-Jon. Jon, my ice and weed and a place to layan ice and weed supplier, Jon. We kept on looking at each other. I m not sure if it's really him. But from the body language and look, he looks like Jon. No, i didnt approach him. I was in my car waiting for Donny and he was in the BKT shop. Anyway, the lunch was superb :D We went to the famous pai kut place to tapau the minced meat fried meatballs before we proceed to the Berkeley's pan mee place. Waited for close to 1hr before the food were served :D after pan mee, drove back to pass minger the food. on the way back, Donny Ang suddenly say he wants to bring me go sing karaoke 'one of these days' and since i was free yesterday, i told him, let's do it today after froyo then! :D he wanted to back out after that but i wouldnt let him :P coz it wasnt the 1st time he said that to me ;) so after the orgasmic froyo, we went over to Neway Subang and sang till we got bored (4.5hrs) :D we tarik so many cows up the tree!! :P after karaoke, Donny Ang wanted to go for coffee. It was almost 11pm already and i didnt want. so i dropped him at his car and went back and talked to small cow for awhile before falling asleep.

had really really really weird dream last nite. it was really funny and bizarre. Dreamt that 5cm come and tell me he loves me in so much tenderness and i started to burst out laughing.... :P told him and the rest of the colleagues today and we had a great laugh over it :P

i also dreamt of owning a BB Torch. no thanks to Mr Proper! i want a BB Torch!! anyone wanna donate money to my Tabung Kebajikan BB Torch? It's really a charity for the unfortunate (me!) :D. but seriously, this is something i m planning to get by hook or by crook la. so gonna start saving... AFTER my auntie ruby trip in June :P

Also dreamt of the topics Mr Proper and i talked about that nite at the wedding. of love and relationships and marriage. it was really a weird dream. i think i woke up shouting in frustrations a bit then went back to sleep.

i think i sang too much yesterday la. damn a lot of drama in my dream :P

the stalker story - pt2

i think he is really psychotic. he came over last nite around 12something 1 something making a commotion requesting me to open the door. i think the neighbours are hating me now...

at 1st i ignore him. pretending i m not in - ya, a bit the stupid, given the fact that my car is there and my sandals is outside... but the commotion got too loud la. seriously, not funny to have ur door knocked at in the middle of the nite u know?? so i gave up and opened the wooden door.

no. i did not let him in. i m not that stupid. but i did the LK's stunt :D (i am mightily proud of it wei!)

I told him if he dont shut up and leave quietly, i will call the police. he thought i wouldnt. so i used my handphone and pretended to dial 112, and then pretended to press call and this is what i say:

Hi.. i m Big Cow. My address is blah blah blah.... har?...uh-huh, uh-huh.... erm... ya. correct. anyway, i would like to make a police report... har? ya ya...ha? why ah? there's this guy is harrassing me outside my house door and i am scared.... ya.... he scary... ya ya.... har? i dunno... scared... dunno.. dunno.... can faster abit?... ya... very scared... oh! great!10minutes??? ok ok! thank you so much!

that chicken shit got mad. and asked me why i did that (he believed). and started to scold me for being heartless and all he wanted was a chance.... right..... and luck would have it (i think my luck has finally change for the better), a police car really did pass by with siren on (it's quite a normal occurrence for the police to pass by with the lights on but not the siren). you should see his face wei.... damn classic kodak moment! he looked so panicked like he is gonna pee in his pants or something :D and then he rushed down :D

the whole drama ended at around 1something 2.

*yawn* fucking sleepy now.

i need to change the lock very soon. better to be safe than sorry lor.

the stalker story

i didnt really wanna talk about this pyscho EX boyfriend on my blog coz i really dont give a damn about him. but he has been a nuisance to me and i am kinda sick of it. at first i thought it's amusing and funny and i just let him be, but now he is getting extremely annoying.

1st incident was a couple of weekends back when Donny came over for dinner. After he left and before small cow came back from work, i received an sms from the psycho bf asking me how come i bring a guy home. and i told him off, i did not bring a guy home, he came over by himself xD (i know it doesnt make the situation any better, but i was merely stating the truth ma. Donny came over himself i did not bring him over ma)

So yea, i knew then he stalk on me. That was before i sent him the break up email.

so far what he has been doing is pretty harmless la. like leaving a tiny piece of paper in my letter box with the message: Why?? got this a few times and each time i just threw it away. i know he wanted to let me know that he is stalking me or he is near me.

then the other nite. he sort of went a little crazy. he came up to my apartment, sms-ed me to open the door and i told him to get lost. then he went downstairs and waited. then i saw him at the opposite block, 3rd flr corridor looking into my apartment thru the small room's window. so i closed the room's door. feeling unconfortable, i went out to meet small cow and we drove aimlessly until we decided to pop by daph's place to visit. it was nice catching up with daph and denise tho :D

weird dreams

i dream every night. without fail. and most of the dreams are weird and dramatic.last nite's dream was about me not making things clear with him. i didnt really want to tell him: hey, we are off! i wanted to just do the silent break. not contacting him and not meeting him. but last nite's dream makes me realized i should make things clear. i dreamt that i went movies with him and suddenly Pet Pet (whom, in my dream were suppose to be the new guy in my life - funny how Pet Pet comes into my dream when i havent seen him in ages! :D) was sitting next to me as well. so we ended up talking before the show started and caught the jokes in the movie when others didnt catch it and laughed together. whilst that psycho was just sitting quietly watching the movie. after the movie, i told Pet Pet i need to leave with the psycho and he got upset and then the psycho got upset and i woke up =.="

i woke up feeling weird and decided that today is the day i will make things clear with him. i didnt wanna meet him face to face coz he is psychotic so i was left with either sms or email. both small cow and minger suggested email coz that will make it seems cold and he will give up easier and no need to waste my phone bill on him :P and so i did. the 1st email i drafted was pretty harsh and minger advised me to edit it coz that fella is psychotic he might come over and attack me or something. so i typed this:

Hi Psycho,

Things are not working out between you and i. You are not the type of guy for me. Please look for someone else.

Big Cow

short and sweet, no? i hope he wont come drama on me la... =.="

when to watch "When in Rome" last nite courtesy of churpchurp :D

it was a last minute thingie as i missed out on the contest. then yesterday @churp2 tweeted that they have 5 more pairs of tix to give away. so i mah faster kiasuly go and try my luck :D

since it's a last minute thingie, the seats we got is possible the worst in the cinema. but not that bad coz cineleisure's seats no matter how bad also still comfortable one :D

I seriously enjoyed "When in Rome" a lot. makes me sort of believe in love again. but then again, i m just way too old for love liao.... i dont know la... like part of me wish i have a prince charming sweeping off my feet and the other part of me just tell me to wake and face reality.

or maybe i just dont know how to feel contented. i mean i m afterall currently sort of in a relationship. i just dont feel any sparks leh.... he is just plain psychotic la =.="

anyway, going to watch "Date Night" tonite courtesy of Nuffnang :D and ash also dapat tix for the movie. So i guess we will meet each other there lor :D

Small Cow and i planning to makan at Shih Lin tonite since it's near the cinema :D but then again, i m famous for being fickle minded. i might change my mind later =.="

mental diarrhea

7 more long days to the vacay.... omg... i can't hardly wait!

got the invites to Date Nite next week. Thanks Nuffnang! :D Ash also dapat the invites. :D

i've got stuffs to talk about... but for the life of me, i just cant really remember what to talk about =.="

there were a 3 days war in the office recently and i m pretty much drained from it all.

filed my income tax and found out i will get more money back. yay! :D

i wanna 'break off' with that guy. i really do. fuck.... i just dont dare to 'dump' him la =.="

the more i chat with him and get to know him better, the more i know he is a totally useless and psycho guy. and he is definitely not the kinda guy that i want. and with his mentality, he will only find happiness from a girl from some really ulu and backward country like Tibet or something like that =.="

ok. maybe i judge too quick. maybe i see all the bad points and not bother to see his good points. maybe i should try again. maybe.

but i m so damn fucking annoyed with him wei. i wish to take a hammer and hammer his head wei!

omg. i think i m bleeding soon.

dear period god, if you wanna make me bleed, pls lemme bleed now or after my trip! thank you.

i m too pissed off now. i think i shall be asexual for the rest of my life!

cant stand idiotic guys

cant stand dramatic relationship with females.

i should just go fuck myself =.="

what have i gotten myself into?

my scorpio suspicious paranoia is going overdrive...

how come Big Boss knows my car's name is Murphy ah?

he reads my tweets / blog?

how can?

hmmm.....

anyway, finally gonna watch Alice in Wonderland with Minger and Small Cow tonite. yay.

i ffk that fella last nite. he wanted to meet waaaaayyyy too late. harlow? i need to wake up early to work one leh =.="

i typed very long just now. but i realized i shouldnt be blogging about it yet. will see how it goes la.