Alex To - 天真 Tian Zhen

love love love love this song to the max. and yes, i love love love love love Alex To... actually, i think i lust lust lust lust lust him la.. :P

yesterday...

... was an emotional roller coaster day for me. but in a good way actually :D

1st(down), i'm still pissed with small cow for being pissed with me for being pissed with her for being pissed with me for being pissed with her.... anyways, it's complicated.

2nd(up), found a fling

3rd(confused), MF added me in FB

4th (shocked & sad), found out that my ex form teacher's son, JJ passed away. We got history with JJ one. damn silly highschool days history la... but overall, dont think he is a nice person. Just feel sad for my teacher, that's all

5th(up up!), Fai and Minger @ Minger's FB :P

and............ the best of it all.....

6th (super up), Mr Pedestal, yup, that guy whom i've always put high up on the pedestal whom we have not spoken in like more than 10 years whom whenever i hear his name or see his name or see him, my heart goes beepopbeepopbeepop, whom, due to my silly antics during schooling days is avoiding me like mad.... SEND ME A FUCKING MESSAGE IN FB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i fell asleep with a big smile on my face.

but.... i had a very disturbing dream.

i dont really remember much of it, i know the gist of it was i came back late, my mom got angry and she dragged me to the street and caned me till i was half dead. which honestly speaking, i believe my mom will do that in real life when she is pissed enough.... i think i m psychologically scarred for life from my mom's craziness la...

ok. that's too depressing.

let's talk about MF a lil bit. i realized i m really in love with him coz even with Mr Pedestal sending me a msg, MF is the 1st person whom i wanna share this happy news with. not to gloat or anything, he is just the 1st person i think of when i have something happy to share. but of coz i didnt contact him la! as it is, my asshole got a lot of worms already. dont need to stuff more in :x

oh oh... remember i told you before, i m a social retard? as in like in social gatherings, i will always feel awkward and dont know what to say or do? welp, i was suppose to sign the condolences guestbook for JJ, but i dont know what to write or say leh... i seriously think i am fucked up socially :(

OMG... i just sent an email to HIM! the guy high up on the pedestal :P it's HIS bday today. i wonder if he will reply? omg... my heart goes beepopbeepop again... it's HIM!!! the guy on my pedestal! ok ok... pls ignore the fact that he is married with a beautiful daughter for awhile, can? :P

why am i doing this anyway? sigh... :P

dear diary....

... yesterday i met the man that i m gonna marry..... :P

no la... just a crush on this guy whom i was doing mystery shopping on :D lol. stupid MF aint replying my sms on that guy =.="

the date with MF on sunday nite went smoothly. in fact, it was fucking fantastic! :D gonna meet him again next week :D

let's get this straight. i am/have been in love with MF since Form 4. but it's not gonna work out la. we are too good of a friend to be together :D and this guy whom i met yesterday whom i am gonna marry, BF, welp, i m just having a major fucking crush on him. like those giggly school girl kinda crush... :P

so anyway, met up with kaima, kaiyeh, abang, tasya and the gang on saturday nite for dinner. then went over to cyberjaya to play gin rummy :P then went home to continue watching dvds until 6am. at around 8ish, Mr. FFK sms-ed me to tell me he cant make it. but i only saw the sms at 10ish and i replied: Expected that. and went back to sleep :P woke up around 4ish, continue with my dvd and then went out with minger for dinner (date with MF was set at 10pm)... okie, dont wanna elaborate more liao. anyway, yesterday went to do the mystery shopping gig and i fell in crush. :D end of story :D damn potong stim right? yea, i also think so. :P as potong stim as u were crying halfway watching the stupid dvd and then suddenly the show ends and u gotta change the dvd only to find out that the other dvd aint working! grrr.... yea.... that's what happened. went all the way to kota kemuning to pinjam from linda so that i can fucking finish watching the show. then see see, i watch habis that dvd and wanna put in the last dvd to watch, it cannot be played =.=" seriously, it's just not my luck to watch that fucking drama la. but the good news is, the dvd player in the living room can watch la.... so am contemplating on moving the dvd player into the room :D

yes, i m still happy happy.... :D

dream...

... i dreamt of him again last nite. it was so weird. i dreamt that i was hanging out with him, his wife and his daughter. his daughter is so adorable. and in the dream, she loves me as much as i love her. it was a beautiful dream. i think his daughter is seriously very very adorable. like a little princess :) i woke up feeling all weirded out. i dont want to miss him. but i do. he is already married and i've already made my choice.

sigh... life goes on. :)

work wise, rumours has it that TUB has tender her resignation... right... i think it's another ploy to squeeze more money from the boss.

submitted my resume to a few companies already. yes, i AM actively seeking new employment. i've been pondering and thinking for some time now. working here is seriously not healthy for my mentality. :D