i was pretty emo last nite. about what? a lot of stuffs lor, financial, family, ifer and him.

financial - i dont wanna talk about it.

family - it's always though during festive seasons. i know, i know, it's my choice and i should just live with it. i m living with it but i am also human, i also got feelings one lor. in front of everyone i told them i dont care. i am not celebrating cny. but i do feel shitty inside lor. but there's no turning back alre. the u-turn has been blocked. so i can only go straight ahead.

him - been a long time since i last heard from him. last nite we talked for awhile and all those buried feelings suddenly rushed out. why like this?

ifer - i miss ifer alot. when i was going thru the shitty period with my fam a few years back, her whole family welcomed me like their own. it was a fun trip going back to their kampung in their dad's small little car with all 5 of us cramped into it. and then it was fun taking the bus back to kl. a usual 3.5hrs drive to the kampung takes about 7hrs bus ride back. coz the bus stops every fucking where :D and we were standing for more than half the ride back :D it was fun. when we reached kl, we walked around Petaling St before 3 of us (ifer and her sis and i) head back to my rented room in subang and they stayed a nite and we had fun laughing and joking all the way. i missed that. i also missed the bond that ifer and i shared. :( seriously, most of the crazy stunts i did in my life were with her lor.... when we are craving for jeruk mangga (pickled mangos), we will drive around the nearby neighborhood and steal some raw mangoes :D or when we wanted to get a valid mc for the next day's calculus test coz we didnt study/practice, she wears her bikini and me wearing my pj and sat outside the thunderstorm hoping that we will fall sick :P and walked around ss15 like that :D or... ok... i just realized the rest of the more memorable memories with her are a tad too illegal to blog about it :D it was just illegal crazy stunts that we did not knowing how much trouble we might get into if we got caught :D

so, ya... i think i think too much. time to take out the brains and put it in the freezer again.

i wanted to cry last nite. but i was too fucking exhausted to cry. but i felt like crying... and i scroll thru the songs that i have in my hp... niama! dont have tears inducing songs also!!! so i fed up... today i transferred more tears inducing songs into my phone.... in case i need to cry again :D