Saturday, April 25, 2009
ah mui is back in town. apparently for 2 years. i find it hard for me to be there and supportive of her desicions. i am trying, but i doubt i can do it. why? coz it's seriously hard for me to be supportive of something that's against my beliefs in the 1st place. so here i m having some internal conflicts. on one hand is my ah mui whom i love and care a lot. on the other hands, i seriously think her actions are stupid and illogical and i dont agree with what she is doing in the 1st place. so it's hard, very hard, for me to be there for her, listening to her complaining, moaning about how sucky life or how sad she is, when she refused to listen to our advise in the 1st place and go ahead with what she wants to do. it's like: i told you so!!! but i cant say that. and yet, i dont really have the patience for such self inflicted drama. so, you have the passion and motivation to be a teacher, ok, i applaud you for that. but because of the passion and motivation, you ended up making the wrong choice of leaving your husband in perth for 2 year and then feeling sad about it and also feeling sad that no one understands you, i am sorry, even i also dont understand or agree with it la. i see things as very simple. you want to be an educator. but at moment of economy downturn, u are unable to find a job in perth that has something to do with education line, so why dont you just work in non education line until the economy is better and then change job and then continue with your studies? i dont believe in leaving my husband alone in a foreign country for 2 years to go after my passion and motivation. when you are married to someone, you are sharing your life with him/her. hence, the decision you wanna make needs to be made together with him/her to achieve a solution. sometimes, it will mean that you have to sacrifice something. so your choice is to sacrifice your husband and not your passion and motivation. live with it. you have made your choice. i know you will be fucking pissed and sad that i m blogging it out here. but the thing is hor, i dont know how to tell you anymore. you are just plain too stuborn. so yea, hate me if you want to, but i seriously do not agree with your actions and it's seriously hard for me to be there for you. to make it sound simple, let's put it in a parable: i know and everyone around you knows the apple is poisonous. i told you and everyone around you told you the apple is poisonous, but you still go ahead and take a bite at it. so now you are suffering from the poisonous attack and yet, you tak insaf lagi. you still stubornly say the apple is sweet and yet you are suffering. so you need our support to relief you of your suffering, but you refuse to insaf. how like that??? you are gonna be an educator. no doubt, i think you might even be a successful one. but put yourself in our shoes, it's like we are the educator and you are a student. maybe you have more patience than us. but i dont have patience. my student aint learning and listening, too bad, i give up. maybe u feel that i m being a bitch for not being there for you. but honestly speaking, cannot la, i dont agree, how to be there for you?? so there you go. there is only this much i can do for you. conclusion is, you have made your choice, live with it.