Thursday, August 11, 2011

it's off

i called it off. he is too nice to me. and i started to expect more but he couldnt gimme the more and i realized if i cant have more, i dont want anything at all. ya. i am an extremist.

what happened? it was over some really stupid minor incident which makes me analyzed too much. he didnt want to bring me to a certain place in open. my intention was clear. i just wanna go to that place which i've heard so much about and i didnt know how to go. he didnt want. prolly coz he is afraid that someone might recognize us. which i think he is being stupid. not say like we are gonna fuck in the open and not say like we behave intimately when we meet in the open. which pisses me off. i suddenly feel closeted. then i started to play back all the times we meet. and it was all on his terms. have meals near my place or buy back and eat at my place. the only place we eat in open is at my office area. no movies, no driving out in the open. and i realised i this is not something i m comfortable with.

so last nite we argued. then he sent me this really sweet and angry mail. it will be really sweet if he is not married. and i dont wanna get so involved anymore. physically involve, i can accept. when emotions plays the part, i am freaking out. i am freaking out at his emotions, i am freaking out at mine and my wants. so i am backing out.

i dont think this make sense at all. it's even contradictory in some ways. i also a bit the "farn". breaking it off is for the best la.

conclusion, it's off la.

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