so much to write. so much to bitch. so much to rant. but dunno where to start or how to start.
here's what i emailed myself from my phone:
1st message to myself:
Recap day 1, emotional and psychological abuse left me crying myself to sleep. Suicide feeling is back. Day 2 @ 6.48am. Was told to wake up at 6am coz leaving the house at 7am. But he is not even awake yet! Is this some kinda joke?! Mom, who hasn't sleep, woke him up and reprimanded him. Welp, at least there is a tiny little silver lining for that matter! I don't know if i m strong enough to go thru the whole week. Will update more later
2nd message to myself:
Day 2 @ 12pm, so far everything is pretty straight forward, business wise, that is. But then again, today is a sunday. So i'll see wat happens tomorrow la. Going to makan lunch with they all today for mother's day. Going to highway restaurant! Yay! :-) Damn hungry la. Will update more later.
3rd message to myself:
Day 2 @ 20.47 - Omg. I m so Damn Fucking bored! Went lunch with the fam... Either i was Fucking depressed / stressed or i was really hungry. Ate 2 big bowls of rice with those yummilicious dishes :-p so anyway, came back supposingly to bathe then go over to popo's place to play gin, but i ended up falling asleep. Slept for about 5 hrs! Yea! Damn tiring! Tomolo another long day! Anyway, gtg now. Dinner beckoning and then gotta sleep again... Gotta wake up early tomolo - again! :-( really dunno how to get thru the next 7 days! :-(
what happened after that? life got tougher. imagine being nagged at every single waking hours you have with him. then imagine the content of the nags range from how useless and spendthrift i m to how incompetent i am to how poor thing he is. no i dont pity him at all. the 1st day i alre see the problem with the company. i gave suggestion, he dont wanna listen. 2nd day went to the auditor's firm, the auditor asked for my opinion, before i can talk, he interrupted me. so i made face and the auditor scolded him for not giving me chance to talk. so i gave my suggestion again and she told me that's EXACTLY the point. see? i m not stupid u know? but of coz being the stupid illogical him who thinks he knows best, he refused to listen. and then when we left the auditor's office, he has the cheek to bitch about the auditor. i think he is in love with his own voice. he cant seems to stop fucking talking!!!! then the 3rd day & 4th day basically i just studied the accounts and the process of the company. easy peasy. 5th day went to Muar to meet our client. which causes a drama from popo. long story. to sum things up:
drama with dad, when the drama with him ends, popo decided to start a drama with both dad and i. and if that's not enough, mommy started to menopause drama with dad. then like all these dramas is not enough, ah ma started to drama with mommy. fucking taiwanese soap opera!!!
the daily routine is like this:
6am - wake up, get ready to go out
6.30am - smoke 2 sticks of ciggies whilst waiting for him to get ready
7am - leave house to collect daily newspaper and have breakfast
8am - reach the shop and started to count money
1pm - close shop
1.30pm - lunch either at home or popo's place
2pm - banking
2.30pm - go back home to keep the money
3pm - 5pm - running errands either at company's secretary place, auditor, meet up with other dealers to strike a deal or just yum char with 3-4 different ppl (meaning to say 3-4 different session of yumchar, meaning to say 3-4 glasses of beverages in the span of 2 hrs)
5pm - go home sleep
7pm - dinner
8pm - 10pm - rot in the room doing nothing.
10pm - sleep
wanna know how fucking illogical my dad is? he says that ice cold drinks contains more sugar. just coz some idiot told him that when he saw me ordering ice cold drink under the hot fucking sun. so my dad started his nag about me getting diabetes and all the crap. so to appeased him, i ordered ALL MY DRINKS KOSONG!! yes, no sugar. and he can still bitch about me. then we passed by a durian stall, pls bear in mind, it's been ages since i last touch durian coz it's too damn fucking expensive! so i just blurt out.... durians! i wanna eat!!! and then he started his case on me saying it's fattening and that i m dying of obesity. then i told him i needed a loan from him to fix my car in kluang coz it's cheaper there... i told him on sunday and scolded me about me being poor and spendthrift. so i didnt bring up the subject. then on a fucking thursday, he scolded me for not repairing my car in kluang and want to waste money to do it in kl. see how indignant i feel??? then he started to bitch about me to mommy and popo and whoever who listens to him saying that i dont wanna do up my car in kluang. harlow?? i alre told him it takes 3-4 working days for the car to be fixed on sunday. and he scolded me. and then thursday only tell me to do it in kluang! how can?? i going back kl on sunday le!!! oh oh oh... friday, it was a long long day. we went to Kahang (think east) - 20mins of winding road from kluang, to meet our ex customer, hoping to woo her back to us. after that, we went further east to Jemaluang to go down south to Kota Tinggi to meet another customer, Jemaluang to Kota Tinggi is about 1hrs of winding road drive. and in that 1hr of him driving, he nagged at me NON STOP. serious shit! he seriously loves his voice a hell lot!!! even when i kept on changing cd to listen and sing a long, he will lower the volume to nag at me. and then i will increase the volume and then he will lower the volume again and again and again alll the way to Kota Tinggi. =.=" then from Kota Tinggi to Kluang, i was driving and he continue to nag me alllllllllllllllllll the way!!!!!!!!!!!! the best part was, he repeat himself like a fucking broken record. the inti pati is always the same, i m spendthrift, i m useless, he dont think i m good enough, he thinks i am stupid, he thinks i am not capable, he thinks i am a sampah masyarakat.
yea. can i report this to AWAM for psychological abuse ah?
wanna know the best and funniest part? on sunday, the day i m coming back to kl, i refused to go to his shop coz i wanna rest enough to travel up to kl. so at around 10 something, he called and ask me to tell mommy not to cook, we are going out to makan. and then he tried to be nice to me and ask me which restaurant i wanna go. me, being bitchy told him there is no point of telling him where i wanna go coz he wont go anyway (i wanted to go highway, and he is always complaining the food is expensive). wanna know why he suddenly so 'nice'? coz he wanted me to tell him when is the next time i am going back. i promised to go back at least once a month to check the account on the condition that the company is paying for everything.
oh oh, did i tell u that he didnt wanted to pay me my 1 week salary at all?? he told me he will save the money for me. like wtf??? i was so angry. but i didnt argue with him coz he went straight on the offensive mode and i decided to ignore him and give him cold shoulder. i felt so damn fucking cheated! so what did i do? i told my mom. and my mom got pissed and told him off. :D and my mom told me not to come back and help him. she say i will kill myself much earlier if i work for him. seems like my mom knows me damn well right? :P
wat else to bitch about ah? erm.... i dont know la. i know most of what i wrote doesnt really make sense coz i am jumping from here to there and then to here again. but i just wanna vent all my frustrations. i m going crazy alre!!!
anyway, came back on sunday and met small cow for karaoke. i didnt enjoy myself much. dont know leh... just feel so drained.
went to watch sell out yesterday. not bad.
did something really stupid last nite. sms-es were flying everywhere me-mf-me and smallcow-me-smallcow and i was semi asleep. so i ended up kept on sending wrong sms to wrong ppl. until i fed up and called mf and small cow. damn stupid and annoying.
conclusion? mf is belanja-ing small cow and i karaoke this sunday. but hor... small cow, u dont feel offended ah.... but hor... i wish to spend time with him alone. wonder if he is free for dinner sometime this week?