suddenly have a flashback on the way to work just now. i think the time was circa 2002/2003 when i was working my 1st job in Malaysia. his name was John. or so he claimed. i guess those of you who have read my previous blog knows about John. how crazy i was for him. lemme tell you his story today :D
i met John when i was out drinking with Ms Iggy Wiser and Mr Asshole in Phileo Damansara. wait. 1993-2005 was a self destructive years for me. Yea, 12 fucking years. :D So anyway, i was pretty drunk/high when i saw John from a far and i told Ms Iggy Wiser, that guy is damn fuckable :P and she dared me to go over to him and dance with him and tell him. which i did. and we exchanged phone numbers. nothing happened la. of coz! we exchanged a few sms-es. i dont know what happened, but we met up again. he came over to fetch me and brought me over to his sis's bf's place to smoke ice. at that time, i havent even started experimenting on drugs, i was just fascinated by the fact that i am able to see people doing doing drugs right before my eyes. no matter how much they tried to pressured me into taking my 1st puff of ice, i didnt do it. and that sort of annoyed them la... macam i am a spoil sport like that. so he sent me back. then fast forward a few months later, i dont really remember what happened. i think i told him i like him (yes! i was that stupid ok, but then again hor... if i see him again, my heart will still go beepop beepop :P) and he asked me out to meet him at Arios Cafe at Pyramid. Ms Iggy Wiser came along to teman me. my god, he brought his 'gf' along and humiliated me infront of everyone. telling me how useless i am and what a fucked up person i am and that i should not bother him anymore. which is like totally weird coz the last i remembered, he came finding me a coupla times without me calling or sms-ing him leh. and all these time when he was humiliating me, "Complicated by Avril Lavigne" was playing at the background, which is pretty apt. coz he really behave differently when we were alone in his car. so anyway, after that incident, i didnt bother to keep in contact with him anymore la... until..... Nov 16 2003, my bday. i was as usual, in my self pity mode and yet anti social. he called. to apologized over what he has done to me. he wanted me to give up on him coz he think he is not good enough for me (!!!!). after talking abit, he asked if i wanna go out. and i said sure. and me being me, brain dont have much filter, i told him it's my bday. :D we went to Dataran Merdeka to pat tor... yea... we did.... it was one of the best bday i've ever had coz it was fucking romantic la... he was apologizing the whole night, we were hugging and kissing and cuddling and talking about a lot of stuffs. and i was.. er... in love with him, i guess. then all good things needs to come to an end. i had to go back to office the next day (Sunday) for training and i didnt sleep at all. What happened was, he felt bad and drove me home to take a shower and then drove me to work (i didnt have a car then) and since i didnt sleep the whole nite, i was fucked la.... full day training... how to survive? and he intro ice to me again. this time round, i did it without much hesitation. yes, i started doing ice even before Ms Iggy Wiser did it. and i tell ya... the buzz that i go thru the whole day was seriously weird (which few years later i come to got addicted to the buzz... it;s hard to describe... it's just nice....:D). after that we stopped contacting for awhile again. yea, he and i, really on off on off on off.... then there was once, we contacted him coz we wanted to get some weed. and we met up for awhile. and then there was once, he suddenly throw pebbles on my window shouting my full name to make me come out to meet him. then there was once, he came over all psycho and started to scold me and humiliate me. then another time, he came over and apologize to me. the final time was he came over all psycho and accused me of dumping him for another guy. i had enough and told him not to find me anymore.
so today, the song Complicated was playing whilst i was driving to work and suddenly i thought of him. remembering all the sweet and fun times we had together. i wouldnt classified him as one of my ex coz honestly speaking, i dont think we ever started at all. after gotten myself into the drug scene before, i fully understand his psychoness then. i am not sure if he is cured of it. when he is not buzzing with ice, he is actually a really really really nice fella. i will forever remember Nov 16 2003 :D i miss him