旁观者清
The person on the spot is baffled, the onlooker sees clear (idiom). The spectator sees more of the game.
When I was much younger (in my early teens), my relationship with my mom deteriorated. I don't know why but I was just very angry and disgusted with her. I think that was that time when I suspected she was having affairs. My cousin even told me before she and her sis and her mom saw my mom holding hands with another guy in Singapore. You see, my mom works in Singapore all my growing years coz my dad couldn't earn enough to support us. Cos he was too active in his union. Anyways...so ya, why 旁观者清 and why I was suspicious?
You see, whenever she comes back to Kluang for a few days, we will receive call from this Benny guy. Benny is around 10yrs or more younger than my mom. And since last time I always use the phone, every time the phone rings, I will sure go answer and then when this guy ask for mom, I will just pass the phone to her and she will be very very awkward and talk until very unnaturally and then she will always say: 旁观者清 . She thought I banana didn't understand this Chinese idiom. Padahal I always hang out with my Chinese speaking friends and they always use this idiom when they wanna tease each other about their crush (like A likes B but denies she likes B. C&D will tease A about it and A will deny and C&D will say 旁观者清 coz C&D can see very obvious A likes B. ya childish. but ya. and yes, I was always A 🙈.🙈🙈)
So back to mom. Whenever she says this, Benny is quite stupid or maybe he purposely want mom to get caught - I am not sure. And mom will have to repeat 旁观者清 a few times. until she gets irritated and say somethings like "I already say 旁观者清 lor!!! You don't understand issit??" and hung up the phone.
Since I was super rebellious then, I will always confront her and she will always give me half ass excuse before she uses her temper to cover for her by screaming and threatening to cane me. Which makes me even more suspicious la.
Then a few times during school holidays, my brother and I will go down to sg by ourselves to spend time with her, Benny will show up as well. but I actually never really suspected she was having affair with him. I was suspecting her having affair with this other man who drives us around all the time and even drove us in to JB so that my dad can pick us up.
Fast forward a few years later when I move to sg to work, and we both shared a room, this guy still exist. and mom always tells me that she make use of him to drive her around. then there was one incident when I was working midnite shift, when I came back from work in the morning, I saw my mom as bruises all over. apparently this guy beat her up when he was drunk. I wanted to report police and mom say cannot coz she was working there illegally. sigh.
then there is another older man. that time I no longer live with my mom coz I wanted to move nearer to my work place. so she got this older man to help me move. everytime I move, he will be there to help. so I also got asked her is this man is her new guy. she just dismissed my question and I also malas to ask further coz I suspected.
then there was one Chinese new year. 1st day where we practiced eating vegetarian for half day. Benny came to kluang to visit. on pretext he is her god brother. and she wanted to match make me with him. but I was quite disgusted with him so I also like tak layan much and mom was super pissed at my rudeness.
so nowww...... jeng jeng jeng.....
I was clearing mom's stuffs recently and I saw this letter in Chinese. and u know I can't read Chinese right? so I just kept it a side when I saw the letter was signed by Ben. hmmm... I suddenly suspected it is a love letter.
then I forgot about it. until today. I saw the letter again and I took pic of the letter and ask Andrew to translate for me word by word......... u see yourself bah
No comments:
Post a Comment