Tuesday, December 31, 2013


2013 has been a life changing year for me.


- Stretched to the limits between work and Papa Ang. 
- Met Aloysius Lui for the first time and fell in love with him

- Super stressed out from the shits from the Ang family. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate their help since I was at the situation where I couldn't cope without their help. But I don't appreciate them reminding everyday the sacrifices they made for my dad - their brother.


- My brother came back for CNY for the 1st time in 20yrs
- My mom volunteered to cook the reunion feast for 22 adults and cooked too much and got bitched at behind her back. Great family I have eh?
- Saw Papa Ang cried for the 1st time in my life when he watched the testimony of a cancer patient being cured by God
- Quit smoking for Papa Ang

- Tasya & Zahidi and Terence & Eileen got married on the same day and held their Lunches and Dinners on the same dates 
- Papa Ang condition got worst and I started to contemplate to quit and spend time with him


- Got retrenched one day after I contemplate to quit. 1st of the many signs by Him that I should accept God
- Spend 2 weeks with my dad at UMMC. 
- 1st time driving up to Genting in Maniam. And the last.


- Got disillusioned by the whole General Election. 
- Papa Ang signed over his company to me and I found out what a deep shit I got into
- Papa Ang passed away

- 3renes came back
- Lots of melt downs from my mom, my bro and I


- 4th generations had mini reunion
- Learning the ropes of the company.
- Officially moved everything back to Kluang from KL
- Watched Dirty Dancing the Musical


- Went to the Orang Asli settlement to buy rubber
- Went Cherating with Minger and the 3renes.


- Went SG to celebrate popo's 88th bday 


- 1st time strike 4D - thanks to a weird dream
- Watched Hairspray the Musical


- Watched Mousetrap the Mystery play


- The angel on Papa Ang's grave got stolen
- Turn 37 years old
- Went to Perth for the 1st time in my life for 2 weeks


- Finally moved out

There were lots of dramas since my dad's passing. I got affected by all the dramas and I am depressed all over again. 

I kept on asking myself what is the whole fucking point of being alive? 

I have been mentally abused so much until I ranted this to a random cousin

"Family?!? Family can tell another person constantly she is always wrong?? Can always brush her off like whatever she say or think is insignificant??? Can always provoke her and then turn around and say it's always her fault???  And best of all, telling her stories that indirectly telling her she is the worst kind of human on earth and that she don't deserve to live??? Or or telling her she is responsible for anything that happened to her grandmother just because she is moving out????? U call this fucking family??  Or how when I show genuine concern for another person and I got accused of being a kaypoh?? Then they can turn around and kaypoh at my business??"

Anyways, I don't feel festive at all la. Christmas is just another day. 

It is now one more hour to 2014. Honestly? I have no hopes and wishes for this new year. Why the fuck for? Bad and negative things will still happen to me anyways!! 

Maybe, just maybe, I will try and find time to rant out all the stuffs that has been said and done to me. 

If I don't update here anymore, it just might means I finally kill myself

1 comment:

  1. Yes, the new year is less than one hour away, So should I wish you Happy new year since you are not feeling in the mood for a happy new year?

    Whatever it is, your mother and brother would be sad if you are not around I believe so maybe rethink the last sentence?