the reason why i havent been updating for the longest time is coz work is too much.

....

and my dad is really sick :(

i m such a horrid daughter. apparently he started to feel unwell in April and i only knew it in ending May... which i thought was not life threatening serious. he just complained he feel pain when he pees and he need to wake up and pee a lot at night.

persuaded him to see a doctor and he didnt want. my taiku needed to call him everyday from SG to persuade him to see a doc and that took him almost a month to see a doc.

he saw a urologist about 2 weeks ago and told him he needed an ultra sound on 16 June. i came back to kluang to teman him. our 1st suspicion was kidney. after the scan, it shows that his prostate was enlarged.

i came back and google and found out it is not that serious and if arrest it early and taking proper medication, it should be ok. whatsapped my bro and he asked about biopsy and i was shocked. coz i always associate biopsy to cancer. after discussing, he told me he over reacted. he thought prostate enlarged = prostate cancer.

my dad was scheduled for a followup meeting with the specialist on 20th June. I wanted to extend my leave and msged my boss but she didnt reply me. so i assumed it's rejected.

i came back to work and called him on 20th june to check and he told me the doc gave him a week's medication to try to reduce the swell or whatever it is called. and asked him to go back again on 27th.

come 27th, being a bad daughter, i forgotten to call him. at around 8ish, my dad called me to tell me that he is scheduled to admit to the specialist hospital on 2nd July. they need to do a biopsy for him.

the seriousness didnt really cross my mind that much. i mean i know it is serious, but somehow i always think parents are super heroes. they will not fall sick, they are afterall our wall all our lives.

i applied for leave and came back today. i want to bring him down myself and listen to what the doctor have to say. my dad already planned with taiku and kaiyeh and they made it quite clear it is not really necessary for me to waste money and time to come down. i beg to differ... harlow! he is my dad leh!

the 1st moment i saw my dad just now, my heart breaks. in just 2 weeks, my dad has shrink so much!!

taiku keep on mentally preparing me for the worst. she suspect his cancer cell has spread quite a lot coz he is in constant pain. not only the prostate area, now the whole body and he cannot pass motion easily now. i almost cried when she told me her diagnosis. so damn tempted to light up my ciggie and chain smoke!!

so tomorrow, we will all drive down to jb to admit my dad and hopefully talk to the doctor. i am still praying really hard that it is not cancer..... i never pray so much and so hard before in my life!!!

i am hoping for miracle. i am hoping that it is not cancer and that everything is false alarm!