Emotional roller coaster

Just came back from kluang for kong kong's 89th birthday celebration. Received an email from my taiku about a month's back telling us that popo is requesting us to go back to kluang to celebrate kong kong's birthday as his health conditions doesn't seems optimistic. I've not seen my grandparents since MOAR in July and i can't picture how pessimistic can kong kong's condition be coz i already thought he is better off dead since he was bed ridden a few years back. No, i m not being a bitch here. Kong kong is a man who enjoys his freedom and movements. He enjoys his vices of smoking and beer even after he had his heart attacks almost 2 decades ago. We can't stop him coz he was still able and will drive to his office on the pretext to work but when he was finally too sick to drive about a decade ago, we went over to his office to clear the place only to find the whole floor was littered with cigarette butts and empty beer bottles. Guess his work is smoking and drinking -.-' anyway, i digress. So, i couldn't imagine how bad his condition was, coz to me, him being bed ridden is already very bad. He is better off dead than suffer. So we all planned to go back and celebrate his bday past weekend coz it might be his last birthday. I reached kluang on friday night at around 11pm and he was already asleep. Woke up at 6am (yes! God forsaken hours!), to help prepare food for the luncheon. And it never occur to me to say good morning to him coz i figured i am too stupid to understand his gurgles of words and i will only make him agitated and angry for not understanding what he is trying to convey (happened in the past). When i first saw him during lunch, i was shocked. He is as good as dead! He can't talk or move and when we call him, he has no reactions at all! I can't believe his health has deteriorate so drastically in mere 6 months! Anyway, i still managed to have fun catching up with the grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. Even managed to squeeze in time to rebond my hair and eat more kluang yummy food. I woke up this morning seeing my uncle rushed into kong kong's room and hearing the panicky voice of the maid telling my taiku that kong kong suddenly turned cold and started to cold sweat. It was pretty scary. He managed to turn warm again after awhile. During lunch, it was really disturbing to hear the elders discussing about preparing the grave site. I know in practicality, it's a good thing that we are doing it now. At least when the inevitable comes, it will not be so kelam kabut. But that makes me finally realized kong kong will be leaving us really soon :( the elders thinks he will be leaving us within these few months :( so yea, emotional roller coaster coz i seriously had loads of fun with my cousins and yet, i m feeling really sad about kong kong :(