Blue moon

Uh-huh, the moon is blue now. Hence the update #lamejoke

2015 was so dramatic that I honestly do not know where to start.

Tldr version: mom is now bed ridden. Ruptured of aneurysms in the brains. Sold the business at a loss. Working for a sucky company with a very good product. Life put on an indefinite hold.

Sad.

Eh, I really lost my writing MOJO la.

The only thing I can think about now is MF.

Hmm....  That one also don't know where to start. Ok, moving on.

I m trying to find the mental diarrhea but seems like I got nothing. How la?

Haiyoooooo....

OK ok, I know liao! I shall write about this guy who irked me so much.

He is a sort of celebrity la. Very young boy. 20yrs old nia.

The 1st time I met him, I didn't know who the fuck he is. Coz that time his movie wasn't out yet. I already hated his gut.

He has this really arrogant air around him. My 1st analysis of him was "rich man son, leader of the cool kids in school, thinks that he is too cool for Kluang"

When he came in to the shop, he was looking for charging cable and he wanted 2m. Which we have but my colleague didn't want to sell coz that particular brand is known to have problem. And from that guy's attitude and speech, I could hear that he was super patronizing to my colleague. Just coz my colleague's English wasn't good. So, being the bitch that I was, I started to speak proper English to this guy la. And then he started to flirt with me. Haiyooo, small boy, u belum flirt I already know ur style la. He is the type that likes girls to misunderstand his flirts to make girls like him then will turn around and brag to ppl that the girls are all flocking to him type. Anyways, I digress. He flirted and asked my name and where am I from and what am I doing here. Crap. 1st of all, I know I am not that attractive to catch the eyes of a cute small kid (he memang quite cute la. But of coz I will never admit it). So I terus know it is all for laugh. Anyways, he said something that was highly offensive in my point of view. He didn't believe I am from Kluang coz my English is too good. I gave him a super annoyed look and told him "You do know that there are still a handful of bananas in Kluang, right?" he gave some really weak reply (I forgot the exact sentence liao coz I am a goldfish).  But inti pati was he look down on Chinese ed ppl and he thinks he is too cool for Kluang. I don't remember exactly what happened but I remember I kinda sorta flick him off like he is some insignificant being. Bad move. Coz he started to pass by the shop very often and look inside and smile. *roll eyes* I know what he is doing la.  I know he "mm-kam-yuen"  his charms doesn't work on me. So he tried harder.  *roll eyes* anyways, he gave up after 5days. But ever since then we all labeled him as "banana"

Then we didn't see him anymore and I actually forgotten how he looked.

Until his movie came out. We went to watch and my colleagues were very certain that guy on silver screen is banana. I kept on saying no. Then we placed bet (yes, we are that "wuliao"). We already know the guy on the silver screen's name. All I need to do is to retrieve the customer record for that particular sales and viola!

Knnccbwtf? I lost the bet! Really the same fella! Idiot made me lose a round of supper!

Then I started noticing that his fb page kept on popping on my news feed. Haiyoooooo I damn annoyed. Coz he sponsored his own page. Bloody rich man son.

Then today when I came to work, they told me that he came yesterday with his mom asking if I m working. Why la?! He was wearing his movie t-shirt. Macam so scared we don't know he acted in the movie.

So I felt relieved I didn't see him yesterday.

Mana tau just now he came again! Just to look see look see. Walau eh! He damn disgusting lor! His whole demeanor changed! No more arrogant wor. Suddenly kept on speaking mandarin only. Suddenly very humble. Bloody bullshit la! I think he think that he is some sort of celebrity now, he have to act humble and nice to keep up with his image. *roll eyes* *pukes*

Incidentally, his mom is one of my high school mate's sister.

The thing about this fella is, he is known to be a flirt and a playboy la. He will get u to sleep with him then dump u and then bragged to everyone that girls are throwing themselves at him. Exactly the kind of guys I hate!

But I must admit he has the smoldering hot guy look la.

Anyways, ya. Bloody annoying idiot.

***
Next topic. Omerta. Haiyoooooo I m back to playing this again! I really wonder why do I subject myself to this all the time. Every version they tell me to try one more version coz got changes then when I do play, I get disappointed all over again! Today is the beginning of the new version. Let's see how long can I stay alive.

A lot of old old old players came out from retirement. So it is quite fun to catch up with them la 😊

*****

I have finally labeled what is MF to me. My guy best friend whom I have the hots for and whom I really wanna fuck if given a chance *stare cock at MF*

He has been super duper sweet and supportive towards me la. Until I got self doubt and thought he was doing this out of pity.

I mean hell, my blood life is so damn dramatic until I m really tempted to really start writing it down and sell it to Taiwanese or Korean or Singaporean or Hongkie TV station la! Sure laku one! I tell ya!

Anyways, I digress again. So he has been sweet and nice and supportive and almost perfect until my heart ache that he dont want me. Sigh. I think I m destined to never ever find the perfect guy in my life la. The perfect guy also don't want me.

We had a lot of laughs recently. So many times we chat until can literally laugh out loud. I know a few times I laughed until like sohai in my shop and my colleagues all think I siao liao lor.

Our wavelength memang quite sama sama la. A few times we will say exactly the same thing at the same time.

And I could tell him truthfully how I felt for him and what I wanna do to him sexually. And he will always feel embarrassed and that actually made me wanna say more of these to him coz it is so fun to make ppl embarrassed! *evil laughter*

I really like the fact that I could openly talk to him at ease. I could tell him anything.

I really like that we have similar wavelengths and we understand each other.

I really like that despite him being a jerk and a three quarter sometimes, he is still super gentlemanly.

I really like that he actually cares about me as a friend and he showed it thru the things he do. How ah? Like cny. He knows cny is not a happy time for me. And he actually messaged me to check on me. It is very comforting to know someone out there actually really do care about me. And I know he cares about my feelings. As in he tries very hard to protect my feelings. Even though I know the harsh truth. He is truly a gentleman.

I told him I really really really like him a lot. I am not gonna say I love him coz I myself am not sure if this is really love or not. And I am really afraid to fall in love also la. I am confirm.com.my sure kena rejected one. Why wanna subject myself to heartache? I also know, acknowledged and accepted that he and I will never ever be together. I m really moving on. I m not putting any hopes in him at all.

I know I m not the kind of girl he wants. His type is more like those hot chicks type. And I know, without him telling me specifically, he find me a turn off - physically.  I know that.  Really I do. If I really wanna dwell on that, I do feel sad la.  So I ignore that and continue to embarrass him by telling him what I wanna do to him. I feel safe doing that coz I know deep down in my heart nothing will ever happened.

Quite depressing I know. I also know I should really stop all these also la.

And I also know that good things will eventually end. So I m just enjoying this for what it's worth. It is not that I do not have faith in this friendship we have. But we are always like this one leh. We will suddenly drift apart with our own lives and work and suddenly non communicado for a long period of time. And then suddenly back into each other's lives catching up. This has been on going for years. I m not bitter nor sad at all la.  It is what it is. Somemore he has this really cray cray bitch gf who unreasonably hates me and is jealous of me.

Bear in mind ah, she don't know I like him. She just hates me. And jealous that he and I chat more than he chat with her.

My fault issit? Siao ding dong.

The more I think about it, the more I wanna woo him and sleep with him. Niaseng. Me and him also nothing and she is already so siao.  We might as well have something to make her siaoness more reasonable la. 😂😂 #laozharbohrebellious

I think this MF topic I can go on forever la. And all with one conclusion. We will never ever be together because he will never ever like me as more than friends.

#heartache

*****

Whoa.....  Really mental diarrhea wor. I think I shld stop diarrhea for now la. Bloody hell, took me 1hr plus to write this. I wanna koon liao la!